Your Parents' Narrative Is Not Your Narrative.
This past weekend, I was talking with Tyler about my fears and my doubts regarding my Etsy Shop and about my writing and about needing to find some part time work to add income to our monthly budget. (Before I go on, we are completely fine financially - we have some goals and dreams that need more bucks to make that happen.)
I said, “I know I’m not my mom, but when she was in her forties, her husband died of cancer, she started a business that completely flopped and put her into financial distress, and she worked for the next 15 years or so in awful situation after awful situation.”
Tyler listened to me for a bit, tilted his head a degree or two, and then he said, “Your mom’s narrative is not your narrative. I need to remind you of that more often.”
And he’s right. Genetics play a role in how we view and see the world. Our childhood culture does, too. But, ultimately, we can choose a different path. We don’t have to become subject to the inevitable by saying, “Well, my mom started a business, and it never made money, so I should probably not do that.”
We get to choose. And we have to pull out of our old thought patterns to find a different path. If your parents were addicts, divorced, bad at relationships, checked out, out of shape, diabetic, narcissistic, emotionally abusive, over-spenders, tight-wads, messy, etc. — you don’t have to also be those things.
You can decide to change your family’s recurring history. Do you need to keep a check on your health? Sure. Do you need do avoid substances that are highly addictive? Probably.
That’s not my point. My point is that your decisions are not already made for you. You can pick a different road than that of your parents’ failures. And when you get that narrative out of your head, you can see the road you need to take a little more clearly.
P.S. My monthly newsletter dropped into subscriber inboxes just this morning. If you want a run down of all of my favorite books and podcasts, you should clickety-click on the subscribe box here on my webpage and get access, too. I put my newsletter archives here on the website, too. Click on the Newsletter Tab up top to go see.